The Egyptbottegy Portal

After a gruelling World Tour ended with some dates in the Middle East, we took a well earned break and explored the region. We instantly became mystically fascinated by all things Egyptbottegy! The reason for this was quite simple; Whilst everyone else was digging, scrapping, robbing and a looting all the Tombs and Pyramids they could find and then taking any precious Stones or Gold artefacts for themselves, we were lucky enough to actually find a genuine pair of very well preserved egyptian Panty's. We could only begin to imagine what their story was, who had they belonged to and indeed, were they infact an ancient Jellybotty from a forgotten World!
As is the plot with many an Egyptian thriller or Horror Movie, yes even the legendary Hammer Mummy Films, with Mr Cushing and Mr Lee, a Blonde Belly Dancer from Grimsby innocently and quite by chance, meets a Mummy!
The Story so far!
She falls head over heels in love with him! They say love is blind and in this case bandaged! The Mummy as usual, has a sinister, ulterior motive, but in his initial giddyness from the power of true love, he has overlooked the fact that she is not the chosen one who has the Chastity Belt key that he has been trying to find for over 8000 years!
He soon realises that he cannot keep her by his side for much longer, his search for the Key and personal liberation must prevail. To soften the blow of telling her this devastating news, he tries to bribe her with this beautiful Egyptian Gold and Jade Necklace that belonged to his Mummy, yes the Mummy's Mummy left him the family Jewels in her will! That's what Mummy's do in ancient Egypt, hand down priceless fashion accessories to their Sons, who are also Mummy's! Get it?
Unfortunately for him, she is not wearing the news that they are not completely devoted soul mates, who have found each other through destiny and divine love. The whole situation is driving him mad, his head, or what's left of it, is throbbing and in a constant spin. His mate Trevor tries telling him it's where he lives and that he should move House and maybe just rent a small, more modest appartment on the upper east side! 
"For Gods sake give us a break! I'm trying to sleep here you nutters!" (The Boss!)
In the end, she gets her own way, as usual and he hands over all the family treasures to her, would you believe it, all along the elusive Chastity Belt Key had been part of an Emerald Earing set his Mummy used to wear all those years ago! He decides that being a modern Mummy is fraught with strange smells and danger and settles down to the quiet life out in the leafy suburbs, these days she's just well happy, draped in all her new Bling!!
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Egyptbottegy Portal sponsored by all living Egyptian Looty Hunters
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